heart pain pain

yesterday ds scald his leg with hot water.. he take the flask of hot water and open it and scald me liao then scald himself.. me feeling so bad that i nv do my part as a gd mother to protect him.. i di try to take it back from him but it's too late he already scald his leg and he was crying as if i wanted to kill him.. so poor thing.. he cried until tears and pidi all come out and i apply colgate on it and finally he cooled down and stop crying.. after he cool down he asking me for milk and fell asleep at 8.45..
i feel so bad that when he sleep i keep apologising to him.. and dh call me say no one blame me for it.. dun think so much and i cried and dh scold me say for wat cry no one blame me and i am the one blaming myself.. but he will nv understand how i feel de lah.. i will nv let this happened again..
luckily today he wake up i take a look at it heng nothing.. no scar no nothing.. heng.. if not i will be so so so so zhi zhe.. he is still so naughty in the morning.. as usual cry while u change him.. dun know y he started to cry once i tell him i want to change him.. as if he cannot bear to let go of the present clothes.. so i bo bian let him cry while i change him out of the pyjamas..

ds new emotions

ds is checking out who calling him

ds laughing so happily

showing off his car which my father gave him

back to camp again!!

haiz.. dh is back to camp for a week again.. sian.. but this time not searching of Mas is standby which means.. 1 week ome back 1 week nv come back.. bo liao army lor.. waste time.. haiz.. when he not back.. his parents will find ways and means to talk lots of nonsense to me.. plus not ds is sleeping an hr later than last time that's means i have to handle him alone for 2-3 hr before his sleep.. and at JW house he will always make me angry taking all those things which he cannot take.. headache.. but looking after him is used to it just hope dh parents dun talk nonsense with me..
currently the nonsens eis ask we 2 dun renovate our kitchen as we dun need.. then my ds no need to eat liao lor.. crazy fellow.. ren ren ren.. if not get old easier.. haha..

all $$ issue

i have been losing sleep.. due to the renovation cost.. my loan approve is only 11k and i still need to fork out 10k cash for reno.. furniture actually alot no need to buy cos my cousin moving so all his furniture he nv want to bring over and is in very gd condition.. so no worry in that but the main concern is the renovation cost.. need to pay full after renovation is all done.. my dad is currently thinking of ways to help me to find that sum of money..
wat i hate is my pil say that they help us by selling away their current house.. and my dh ask then u all stay where my fil say move in with u all lor.. wth.. so i rather i ask my parents help.. but my parents is unhappy with my dh and my dh is not happy asking them for money.. haiz.. so bo bian.. now really hope for money drop down from the sky.. but hor after move in from head to toe all is debt.. haiz..

glitter-graphics.com

my stone stone boy

yeh! going out








before he get tired


he was so tired


starting to have stone look

pil cause us to quarrel again!!

this few days my pil so early reach home and whenever they come back ds is only abt to sleep and they talk soooo loud and ds open his eyes so big and after his milk he will make noise and want to get out of the bed.. so i let him go out and play with them..
1st day which is monday, they eat satay and ds buay tahan but he just drink milk and the satay so oily and i dun let him eat so late liao..i nv even want to eat cos i know he will make noise... so i tell him boy boy no har mummy also nv eat mah.. then he nv bother and want to take the plate and my mil who is looking after him pull him away and he scream and cry so i tell her dun coax him let him cry and know wat's wrong and she say lor.. cry for wat.. then i shut up lor.. go back room with ds and dh to make ds sleep.. dh scolded ds cos he obviously very tired liao but dun want to sleep then keep screaming and abit he cry.. and after dh scolded him he cry so loud and i say my dh your parents dun let him cry u still scold him make him cry then he talk so loud telling me that so wat they dun like we r teaching our son an i hear my pil talkign abt it lor.. then after that ds cool down and i sing and make him sleep lor..
2nd day tuesday, the same scenrio again so i let him out again but this time my pil keep asking him to sleep and carry him.. then i gd gd tell my mil that dun carry him let him roam abt and tired himself then he will sleep and dun keep asking him oror anyway he wake up to play but they keep trying to make ds sleep in their room and i damn piss lor.. i let u all play u all want him to sleep i let him sleep u all want him to play.. wth u all want.. then back in room after ds sleep i tell dh abt it and he say he know but wat can he do.. and i say i say them u not happy tell u liao u keep quiet..
and my pil is talkign abt moving in with us again.. but luckily dh is very firm say no we dun want to stay with u all.. and they even say they want to buy the same blk or even next to us.. pls lah.. no dif lor.. then my dh say next time they old they also will help look after kid.. i say next time ds big liao lor and u say dun want number 2 mah so care so much and they r still young by they retire our kids dun know how big liao lor.. i say they cannot let baby cry then if the baby cry abit thought hungry feed.. they cannot make it de lor.. then i say even u and your sis they nv look after before 24/7 all put under nanny care wat they know.. know how to play lor and let him take everything that cannot then snatch back and make him cry and make me and dh a bad guy in ds eyes.. piss offffff....

life without dh

dh is not back for around 3 wk.. but he got come back a few hr before going back to the army.. first few wk he is not around feel very xin ku but after a wk or so.. i started to feel that whether he is around or not it's still the same.. i still the one look after ds.. the only different no shopping at nite to jurong point and no dinner for me..
last tue he came back for 3 hr.. but when he come back ds is in the mood of sleeping so ds nv want him to carry or even bother abt his return.. and he was kinda of sad and tell me that ds nv think or miss him then i was consoling him say cos d is tired and want to sleep..he going off at 11 but i can't even stay awake until he went off.. i doze off at 10 plus and he even tell me he leaving but i still call at 11 plus asking him y so late still dun want to go back camp.. i think i abit gong liao.. haha..
last sat he suppose to come back til next mon but suddenly army call back and he have to return by 1900.. so quickly do the reno thing and eat dinner with my family then he rush back to camp..
so my life is like having a dh like dun have a dh.. only thing is still no freedom cos of ds but it's wonderful to c how he grow up and progress day by day..